Ask Sophia…

All questions were submitted anonymously through the YOLO application.

“So I’m like lowkey in love with this girl, let’s just call her Mal, how do I confess my feelings?”

– Cob

Dear Cob,

Love, feelings and romance are always difficult to navigate, especially during a time as dramatic and volatile as high school. However, as someone who is chronically afraid of most things, I have learned that regret is the worst feeling. Rejection is also up there on the long list of terrifying feelings, so I understand the hesitance. Bottling feelings in is never any fun, but an out-of-the-blue confession only ever works in teen-pandering movies that get a six-percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Instead, drop clues here and there and read her responses. Does Mal smile or laugh at the jokes you make that nobody else laughs at? In a group of people, does she stand next to or across from you, and does she make an effort to talk to you? Start conversations, make references to previous conversations and see if she remembers or enjoys these throw-backs and inside jokes. Once you have the heartbreak-proof barrier of knowledge and a general scope of her interest in you, full send! Worst case scenario, heartbreak heals and relationships recover. Best case scenario, you now have access to a messy- yet fulfilling- high school romance. While so much of relationships and love is wildly unpredictable, you do know one thing: you will regret it if she starts talking to other people or you both graduate and move across the country, and the inevitable “what-if” feeling will be painful. Spare yourself the melodrama and put yourself out there. Regardless of the outcome, you’ll be fine.

Much love and good luck,

Sophia

“I recently got cheated on and I don’t want to break up, as bad as the situation may be. Any advice on how to cope with this?”

– Hurt

Dear Hurt,

Firstly, I am so so sorry that you got cheated on. Nobody deserves that breaking of trust and you, and anyone else who has ever been cheated on, deserve better and I hope you’re dealing well with the emotional aftermath. To answer your question with a question, why do you need the situation to go over smoothly? This is not to say that drama or mean actions are necessary, but you were wronged in this situation. Your pain and feelings are valid and you are under no obligation to minimize them for the benefit of others. Things don’t have to go over well. You are entitled to being mad, angry and upset, as long as you’re able to pick yourself up and heal in due time. Space is crucial in moments like these, and while this can be difficult in the fishbowl of high school, especially if you share a friend group, take time away from this person. If you two are still together, seriously reconsider your relationship. This is high school, and relationships are supposed to make you feel good more than they make you feel bad. By cheating, your significant other has already disintegrated any trust in your relationship, and that sort of insecurity and distrust won’t completely go away as long as you stay together. Don’t be mean, but quietly let yourself out of their life and let them know that what they did was irreparable and you deserve better. I hope you’re healing. 

Stay strong.

Sophia

“I need advice on how to deal with the high standards associated with Summit: everyone takes AP classes, pressure to pursue higher education, always assumed to have a nice house or car or clothes, etc.”

– Stressed at SHS

Dear Stressed at SHS,

    I completely understand the pressure you feel. We all do. Whether you’re the student crying at her desk at 2:00 a.m. because you took too many AP classes you’re involved in too many sports and you have four missing assignments in three classes and you haven’t seen your friends outside of school in weeks and you feel like your time doesn’t even belong to you anymore and everything hurts, or the student silently watching the top-of-the-class kids get accepted into college and feeling inferior, every Storm student feels the effects of the high-achiever culture. It sucks, of course, but none of us are alone in feeling its toxicity. As for pressure to fit into the rich-kid mold expected of our district, it’s awful, especially for those who don’t have the means or the money to do so. But along with these virulent aspects of our culture, Summit seems to praise individuality. You don’t have to drive a nice car or own a Louis Vuitton backpack to have good style, especially in a school as stylistically diverse as Summit. While typing this, my entire outfit was pawned from a thrift store- I look amazing, thank you. You can be cool without shelling out cash or following trends as long as you display your own uniqueness. The same sentiment can be extended to the academic aspects of this school. While AP classes are kind of fun, (AP Psych is a pretty interesting class, not even going to lie) you don’t have to take them to do well or to get into college. Furthermore, you don’t even have to go to college. Success comes in many forms: vague notions of happiness, a well-built family, pursuing academic interests, amassing capital. College or no college, you can thrive either way. All you need is a little bit of resourcefulness and a lot of drive. Defy whatever norms you want to defy- high school is important, but in the grand scheme of your life it’s insignificant. Spend your time how you please.

I believe in you!

Sophia

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