By Julia Burdsall
Of the 8760 hours that fill this new year, the first 336 that we have experienced thus far have left the world speechless. They have blown all expectations out of the water and have acted as a unique start to this celebratory New year. In particular: a slightly problematic assasination turned into what might become, according to Instagram memes, WWIII; Australia might not even be here in about a month, and at the rate we’re going the U.S. will probably beat the record for number of mass shootings in one year. We may have a toddler as president but at least we are a front runner in something!
The plethora of Great Gatsby themed New Year’s Eve parties we were graced with scrolling through on social media are not the only thought-provoking phenomenon heating up this new year. Enter the Australian fires. If igniting the Amazon wasn’t bad enough, we are only 14 days in to 2020 and Australia is already engulfed in its worst brush fire on record. With roughly one billion animals and wildlife dead, the next time someone visits the continent it’ll be via Google.
On top of the newest environmental crisis, Donald Trump provoked yet another political crisis. However this time he didn’t just tweet about it, he actually committed to his word for once, leading the nation into quite the pickle. We may have started an international crisis but at least we didn’t “accidentally” shoot down a plane full of our own people. But don’t worry about all that political catastrophe stuff- that’s what diplomats get paid the big bucks for.
Along with the U.S. on the brink of a war with Iran, climate change is at an all time high, and at the rate we’re going 2020 is going to be a hot one; although 2019 might have been the second hottest year on record I have a feeling this year will bring scorching temperatures aimed at surpassing those of 2016. But at least when shit hits the fan we have Greta Thunberg to turn to, and don’t forget the Instagram model who sold her nudes to raise nearly a million dollars for wildlife in Australia. Getting naked to prevent the world from being naked, it may be unconventional but it gets the job done. Oh, and on top of a slew of environmental and political issues are the three mass shootings that took place only 24 hours into the new decade. Looks like semi-automatics were high on a lot of Christmas lists.
I think it’s quite obvious that this year is going to be one for the books. Get ready, because you might wanna drop your New Years goals for a list of apocalyptic escape plans. But don’t fret, a little New Years champagne will make 2020 slightly more optimistic, or it won’t, but either way you might want to drink some champagne .